Sky Breaker or Body Breaker?

As I got about half-way along the level part at the top of the water slide, I saw the light reflecting up into the tunnel and I was a little confused: the light didn't look right. Then suddenly I realized three things all at once. First, (and this explains the brighter-than-expected light) the covered part of the slide ended much earlier than I thought it did. Second, I perceived the awful reality that the slide was far steeper than I had supposed. And third, just before I dropped to oblivion, I remembered that I was supposed to cross my legs. I was too late. I caught the air, my legs went up and out, and I had lift-off. I thought I was going to die.

Somewhere along the line I was able to pull my legs together and I hit the slide again, because I quickly became aware that I was hydroplaning across the water (it felt like I was sliding down a washboard) with hundreds of needles of water slashing at my face. I thought to myself that I didn't remember reading on the sign at the top what I was supposed to do with my head–lay it back or keep it up–but before it mattered, I was at the bottom. I lay there for a moment, wondering why I had waited in line to experience aeroplaning, hydroplaning, and being body-slammed all within five seconds. Then I got up out of the slide and looked up to where I had just frivolously thrown my body from, trying to project my thoughts to Ann, "Remember to cross your legs! Don't forget to cross your legs!"

She didn't remember either.

It was the first time I had ever gone down a free-fall water slide. I chose the blue slide called Sky Breaker because I thought it was less severe than the other two free-fall slides at Seven Peaks in Provo. It had a full tube covering the slide for the first part of the drop (or so I had thought) so I could hold myself down in the slide. It extended further than the slide next to it appeared to. Perhaps part of my decision was based on the psychological response engendered by the color blue: calm and tranquility. They should paint that slide a frenzied myriad of painful colors. Or maybe black with little skull-and-crossbones along it's length. As Ann and I walked away from the slide tower, we looked back at the slides and saw that it stretched out further than the other slides only because it had that long, level stretch at the top. After that, it ceased to extend in a horizontal direction. When I made my decision I was standing under the slides on the stairs and couldn't tell the steepness. Lesson learned: look at things from all angles before you make a judgement.

We went to Seven Peaks last Saturday, August 2nd. It was lots of fun. Mary, Eden and Kevin went with us, and they had a blast going down the little kiddie slides. Mary was actually a lot braver than I thought she would be with the exception of the wave pool. She wasn't too thrilled with that. Eden was a little cautious about the longer slides. She makes the most hilarious faces when she is afraid. But on the whole I was pleased; I never really learned to swim, and I want our children to at least not be afraid of the water. Everything went well until the very end. Ann was the last person to do something. She went off the rope swing for the last time, and when she got out of the water, her neck really hurt. It quickly got worse. She went to the first-aid station, and to make a long story short, they were concerned enough with possible back injury that they called the paramedics. Ann got an ambulance ride to the hospital and had some x-rays. They said she appeared to be alright, but told her she had a back sprain and to take it easy. We don't know yet how much that will cost, but I suppose the ambulance ride alone will be about $700. Hey, I don't mind paying for an ambulance driver's family's Christmas.