Anyhow, he stopped by at work today to say hi to all of us, and we had a nice visit. He told us that he had finally gotten a job with an airline. He had finally reached his goal. Farns, another coworker, jokingly made the comment that Bob was the only RMP employee ever to make something of himself. After he left I thought about how much Bob had gone through to get to this point. I knew about the sleepless nights he and his wife had gone through (partially due to a possessed alarm clock in his daughter's room), the hours of studying and flying, and the other sacrifices. His success got me excited to "make something of myself." That made me think of something that all those self-help coaches and multi-level marketing people say about how you need to get friends that are successful so that you can be successful. They say, basically, that misery loves company, and if you have average people for friends, you won't be as likely to succeed because they don't want you to succeed. They will tell you why you can't do it instead of encouraging you because they are afraid that if you succeed you will leave. Or perhaps they are just trying to watch out for you so you don't waste the time and money.
Don't get me wrong in saying this - I have some fantastic friends - but I have experienced this in my life. In the times that I have told people about my goals and dreams, I have almost always gotten the "come back down to earth" speech, or I have at least been told to be careful, to think it through, in a tone of voice that says "It ain't gonna work. You're crazy."
I thought today about how sad I was when Bob left RMP. Maybe I would have even been happy if he had decided to give up his flight career or put it on hold. I still secretly wish he could somehow still work at RMP. Isn't it unfortunate that we are often that way with our friends, that we are negative about their goals and even wish them to fail at their dreams? I fear that I am even that way with my beloved Ann.
As I write this now, I think about how our friends could be compared to a bird that we love so much that we never let go of. We get so afraid of losing it that we hold it so tightly and for so long that when we open our hands to look at it, it immediately flees, or worse, it's wings are bent and broken so that it can no longer fly, or worse yet, we have squeezed the life out of it.
I worked with Bob for only a few years but we built a great friendship. I am sad that I may seldom ever see him much again. (It's too bad that we make such great friends with people that end up being in our lives so short a time, but that is a subject for another post. Thank heaven for eternity.) But today I was completely happy for his success. The things that we should hope for the most for our friends are their success and happiness. I am going to work harder at being complimentary and optimistic, kind and selfless. That is real friendship.
